What is the first thing you notice?
The first indication that something’s wrong?
It makes your heart trip;
the lifeforce inside you freezes,
your mouth has two weights on each edge,
and your brow can’t seem to lift.
It’s the concern and fear
that borrows your breath
but it’s the constant circular commotion that steals it.
I might be insane.
but what if it’s all in my head?
That is insanity.
this questioning is making me insane.
I might be insane.
For me it’s the loss of time.
The realization makes me pause.
The weights on my chest make themselves at home and
settle.
The panic forces itself through my mouth in the form of a whisper
no.
But then my jaw clenches
and I unfreeze.
I can’t shake it away,
still can’t make my brows lift
but I can drum life into my body
by letting it out
with a sigh
and a reminder
I’ve been here before
and I’ve survived
every.
time.
even though I know
the depth of the burrow can surprise
every.
time.
