Previously, I published a post on “How NOT to Start your Novel: Common Mistakes to Avoid.” That post is helpful for optimizing the first 5 pages of your manuscript, which is important if you are querying literary agents or editors. But let’s talk about issues I often notice in the body of unpublished manuscripts.
I’m not going to list larger development issues here (like a lack of character depth). Instead, I’m going to focus on specifics that might contribute to bigger issues (for example, a lack of unique mannerisms may contribute to a lack of character depth). Prescriptions, if you will, for the larger afflictions. And naturally, there can be so many more concerns within your novel beyond those listed below. But I picked out the most common errors I’ve come across in the past 5 months.
Dialogue/narration blend
Finding the balance between dialogue and narration is a conscious effort. A lot of people have big blocks of spindly lines of incessant dialogue. I’ll be honest; I would much rather read big blocks of narration than endless lines of dialogue without any narration. So always break up your dialogue with descriptors. Especially when you’re just introducing a character. I’ve noticed that descriptors are less necessary after a character is well known to a reader, but it’s super important upon introduction. Dabble in facial expressions, tones of voice, mannerisms, etc., amidst your dialogue. Otherwise, your book will read like a recitation of court transcripts.
This leads to my next point about a lack of mannerisms, facial expressions, etc.
Lack of mannerisms or facial expressions
The only author I’ve ever read who could get by with this is Ernest Hemingway. If you’re the newest Hemingway, I applaud you. But if your characters feel flat, perhaps see if they have mannerisms that are uniquely and consistently theirs. Think about the people in your life. I guarantee they all have mannerisms that you identify with their personality. Sprinkling these among your characters (making sure they’re relevant with your character’s personality) will help readers know your characters better. It will make your characters seem more realistic and relatable, and make the novel more immersive.
Unnatural Dialogue
Going back to dialogue, I’ve identified two main reasons why dialogue often sounds unnatural and distinctly not like an actual conversation anyone would ever have.
- Dialogue is obviously for the benefit of supplying background for the reader. Revealing background through dialogue is possible, but often only when paired with narration. If you think to yourself, “What’s the best way to tell the reader something from my character’s past? Nah, narration’s boring and too obvious. Let’s do it through a conversation!,” you better edit like a fiend after you take the plunge. Act the conversation out with a friend and determine if it sounds like an actual conversation someone would have.
- Dialogue is replacing inner monologue rather than resulting from it. Dialogue is never as clear or well-thought out as our private, internal thoughts. Let the reader experience emotions with the character instead of revealing them after the fact through a conversation.
Unrealistic kid’s voice
Mastering a kid’s voice is not easy, especially if you have a stereotypical perspective of the age group. Most often, authors make a younger child too mature and a pre-teen too immature. Honestly, the best remedy for this is to know someone of your character’s age group. But if you don’t already know a child, searching around for one to get acquainted with is simply creepy, so the second best thing is to do your research. Learn the psychology of child development if you want to commit yourself. You can also consume media (other books, movies, etc.) that have prominent, realistic child characters.
This blog is a good place to start. It gives tips on how to write authentic child characters, and includes tips on how to write a child’s dialogue as well.
Show, don’t tell error
This is such a common critique that I hesitated to include it, but the reason it’s still a common critique is because it’s still a common mistake. Showing rather than telling is so important in making your novel immersive and your characters three-dimensional. When reading Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, a book of poetic prose and incredible one-liners, I was able to pick out perhaps the worst sentence in the entire novel: “Campbell felt dominated by him.” It was such an obvious case of telling rather than showing (really, he used the word “felt”) that it drew me out of the story.
Look for telling rather than showing on the line level, like the sentence in The Picture of Dorian Gray, but also look for it on the developmental level. If you consistently tell readers that your character is upset about something, but don’t prove or show it through the narrative, your readers won’t believe you or care.
Most of these may seem obvious, but they are the most common mistakes I’ve seen in unpublished manuscripts. It is fairly difficult to objectively analyze your own writing, but hopefully this list provides tangible issues to look for.
