I Could Have Sworn: A Poem

I could have sworn

I was mad at you a minute ago.

But lo and behold that smile

full of abandon and beguile

that speaks of

late night coffee runs

from the shabby local gas station. 

Strutting across the lot,

the world our mansion.

We laughed into the night,

daring the haunted corridors into action.

driving with no destination,

sleeping in backseats

and only returning home

when adventure felt obsolete.

We shouted song lyrics at the top of our lungs,

ignoring the hoarseness with satisfaction.

screaming into the echoing night

laughter igniting in a fury

and eyes shining with wicked innocence,

our voices diminishing in the flurry.

In the midst of our self-imposed melee,

we didn’t mention how

the late night coffee was to avoid your dreams

of promising futures and lilting pixies,

dragging you into their extremes,

haunting you with ghosts of tipsy gypsies. 

the spontaneous road trips were just you running away

from the crushing weight of responsibility

and the debilitating image of a liability

that you feared you became after you tried to fall in love with life.

the echoes numbed your senses

until all you could hear

was the sound of your own voice

yelling curses sincere.

We both ignored how we were dancing 

on the opposite sides of a chessboard

our faces plastered to the windows of time

waiting for your hope to be restored.

I knew you’d sooner have

my head than my back

if it came to it,

but I still raced after you on the track

lest you disappeared 

as you ran faster and faster.

I chased the hollow particles of your love,

your inner child my master

and our link a disaster.