I could have sworn
I was mad at you a minute ago.
But lo and behold that smile
full of abandon and beguile
that speaks of
late night coffee runs
from the shabby local gas station.
Strutting across the lot,
the world our mansion.
We laughed into the night,
daring the haunted corridors into action.
driving with no destination,
sleeping in backseats
and only returning home
when adventure felt obsolete.
We shouted song lyrics at the top of our lungs,
ignoring the hoarseness with satisfaction.
screaming into the echoing night
laughter igniting in a fury
and eyes shining with wicked innocence,
our voices diminishing in the flurry.
In the midst of our self-imposed melee,
we didn’t mention how
the late night coffee was to avoid your dreams
of promising futures and lilting pixies,
dragging you into their extremes,
haunting you with ghosts of tipsy gypsies.
the spontaneous road trips were just you running away
from the crushing weight of responsibility
and the debilitating image of a liability
that you feared you became after you tried to fall in love with life.
the echoes numbed your senses
until all you could hear
was the sound of your own voice
yelling curses sincere.
We both ignored how we were dancing
on the opposite sides of a chessboard
our faces plastered to the windows of time
waiting for your hope to be restored.
I knew you’d sooner have
my head than my back
if it came to it,
but I still raced after you on the track
lest you disappeared
as you ran faster and faster.
I chased the hollow particles of your love,
your inner child my master
and our link a disaster.
